its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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