My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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