Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
