Where are you?
In a non slutty way
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I did not marry a roomba.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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