She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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