she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
