Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
