Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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