Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister

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  (305): Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever (615): She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister http://tfl.nu/5zux
  Replies (88) Good night (7737) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with

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  (402): what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with http://tfl.nu/hfaq
  Replies (26) Good night (550) Bad night (2355)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...

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  (610): Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon... http://tfl.nu/ozcp
  Replies (7) Good night (861) Bad night (4938)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.

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  (319): I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners. http://tfl.nu/k7br
  Replies (79) Good night (1929) Bad night (6924)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy

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  (913): You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy http://tfl.nu/fi9p
  Replies (12) Good night (5274) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.

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  (815): He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already. http://tfl.nu/j86y
  Replies (10) Good night (7425) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips

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  (920): I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips http://tfl.nu/g3ng
  Replies (6) Good night (3006) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.

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  (440): The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night. http://tfl.nu/gsoj
  Replies (8) Good night (2889) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.

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  (303): No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck. http://tfl.nu/2tgn
  Replies (7) Good night (1938) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.

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  (425): Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested. http://tfl.nu/cy6p
  Replies (5) Good night (1324) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."

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  (719): He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it." http://tfl.nu/ssx2
  Replies (10) Good night (1947) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.

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  (603): I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment. http://tfl.nu/fbcm
  Replies (1) Good night (806) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED

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  (507): THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED http://tfl.nu/xpsw
  Replies (10) Good night (553) Bad night (1299)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.

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  (519): And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication. http://tfl.nu/rgq1
  Replies (3) Good night (998) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?

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  (312): Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!? http://tfl.nu/obq2
  Replies (4) Good night (611) Bad night (311)

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