I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?