Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on