Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell

  (310): View more from California

  my version of bright and sunny.

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  (323): forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell (310): my version of bright and sunny. http://tfl.nu/6mbu
  Replies (4) Good night (1845) Bad night (601)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks

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  (281): i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks http://tfl.nu/0yyy
  Replies (23) Good night (4045) Bad night (687)
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  (858): View more from California

  I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.

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  (858): I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it. http://tfl.nu/e9ge
  Replies (26) Good night (2089) Bad night (2915)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.

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  (505): Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before. http://tfl.nu/42ka
  Replies (93) Good night (5715) Bad night (909)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope my margaritas pass through security.

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  (610): I hope my margaritas pass through security. http://tfl.nu/1pwp
  Replies (7) Good night (4205) Bad night (624)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.

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  (785): this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila. http://tfl.nu/7xsl
  Replies (3) Good night (1414) Bad night (999)
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  (510): View more from California

  speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage

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  (510): speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage http://tfl.nu/2e5o
  Replies (7) Good night (1793) Bad night (1157)
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  (805): View more from California

  I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.

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  (805): I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close. http://tfl.nu/wx41
  Replies (5) Good night (862) Bad night (2164)
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  (909): View more from California

  I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar

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  (909): I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar http://tfl.nu/dhbh
  Replies (5) Good night (1699) Bad night (589)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.

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  (631): I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning. http://tfl.nu/7540
  Replies (4) Good night (1124) Bad night (460)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH

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  (917): SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH http://tfl.nu/uo9d
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (1271)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.

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  (503): I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20. http://tfl.nu/9ljc
  Replies (6) Good night (1514) Bad night (421)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.

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  (408): I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility. http://tfl.nu/5lhi
  Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left

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  (775): FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left http://tfl.nu/965v
  Replies (7) Good night (394) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.

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  (513): Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th. http://tfl.nu/da6g
  Replies (3) Good night (568) Bad night (148)

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