I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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