It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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