I want to make a zoo with you.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
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It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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