so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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