sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
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And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
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He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize