I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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