actually, I'm a sock model
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
