My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
