I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
