Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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