i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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