we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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