Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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