i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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