Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
