Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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