you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf