Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...

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  (360): The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy... http://tfl.nu/q7uq
  Replies (14) Good night (1264) Bad night (2481)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...

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  (303): maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing... http://tfl.nu/2fyx
  Replies (11) Good night (1249) Bad night (3959)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"

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  (708): did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement" http://tfl.nu/nqth
  Replies (3) Good night (2007) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.

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  (815): There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed. http://tfl.nu/rw7p
  Replies (4) Good night (3259) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  how was ur day?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.

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  (417): how was ur day? (405): this is strictly sexting don't make small talk. http://tfl.nu/95h7
  Replies (13) Good night (6651) Bad night (1435)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??

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  (406): She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads?? http://tfl.nu/sqt6
  Replies (24) Good night (2103) Bad night (2967)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags

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  (610): I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags http://tfl.nu/4wxr
  Replies (6) Good night (1113) Bad night (1805)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...

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  (603): Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing... http://tfl.nu/j7d9
  Replies (6) Good night (2687) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.

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  (513): While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from. http://tfl.nu/e26m
  Replies (12) Good night (980) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...

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  (571): She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance... http://tfl.nu/5je2
  Replies (3) Good night (855) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.

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  (406): Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever. (1-406): Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible. http://tfl.nu/2r6p
  Replies (3) Good night (929) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.

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  (901): She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right. http://tfl.nu/eqzr
  Replies (7) Good night (1197) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.

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  (217): Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill. http://tfl.nu/rrda
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.

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  (407): He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night. http://tfl.nu/ubat
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.

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  (904): My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through. http://tfl.nu/7flj
  Replies (4) Good night (555) Bad night (317)

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