I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize