Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.

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(775): My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication. http://tfl.nu/hfzx

Replies (38) Good night (723) Bad night (2469)
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(520): View more from Arizona

please come you make the beer taste better

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(520): please come you make the beer taste better http://tfl.nu/dzlt

Replies (16) Good night (4799) Bad night (645)
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(334): View more from Alabama

I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

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(334): I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around. http://tfl.nu/tfd4

Replies (12) Good night (1635) Bad night (4943)
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(503): View more from Oregon

two words: eviction party

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(503): two words: eviction party http://tfl.nu/l75h

Replies (28) Good night (6221) Bad night (1042)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

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(506): I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer? (902): the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka. http://tfl.nu/rxlv

Replies (16) Good night (10493) Bad night (1164)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..

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(902): i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see.. http://tfl.nu/ubpf

Replies (9) Good night (4160) Bad night (969)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'

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(918): I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.' http://tfl.nu/i088

Replies (8) Good night (3021) Bad night (983)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess

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(506): Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess http://tfl.nu/9ahd

Replies (29) Good night (3299) Bad night (1027)
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(206): View more from Washington

Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed

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(206): Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed http://tfl.nu/023t

Replies (1) Good night (1825) Bad night (535)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect

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(814): Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect http://tfl.nu/4whi

Replies (4) Good night (5406) Bad night (927)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.

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(609): it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating. http://tfl.nu/22js

Replies (4) Good night (1530) Bad night (1060)
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(585): View more from New York

20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.

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(585): 20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me. http://tfl.nu/kxs1

Replies (4) Good night (1590) Bad night (503)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.

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(410): I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex. http://tfl.nu/2gjc

Replies (7) Good night (1177) Bad night (374)
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(425): View more from Washington

I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor

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(425): I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor http://tfl.nu/0wlf

Replies (0) Good night (257) Bad night (409)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.

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(215): we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels. http://tfl.nu/n1cw

Replies (2) Good night (1047) Bad night (210)

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