1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church