she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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