Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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