U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
