is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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