It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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