I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
