Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
