pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
