Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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