I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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