It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
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Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
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Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize