I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
