need another drink. this is the easiest way
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
