Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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