You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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