Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
