i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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