we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
