I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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