I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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