it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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