We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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