you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
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the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
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So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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