I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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