I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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