So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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