P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
