We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize