found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
