i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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