do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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