PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
