He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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