Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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