I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize