Are we in a gay sports bar?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
