well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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