once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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